Assholes

Lately it has become very apparent to me that many women are petrified to admit: THEY LOVE ASSHOLES

Being a girl who openly accepts her love for men who are arrogant, audacious, and who sometimes borderline on just plain rude, I find these women highly irritating and the catalyst of many bickers, banters, and arguments. And if anyone has seen me in one of these situations, the fact that I, myself, am an asshole becomes more and more apparent.

The natural law of Asshole-attraction is not sexist though - oh no. Guys gag for it too.
I first learnt this when I read "The Man-ual - Bad boys finish first" by Steve Santagati back in 2007. It was set in stone when earlier this year I met a boy who turned me into "the nice girl" in the Game of Love.
To give you an idea of the severity of this situation, if I were playing Monopoly - Love Edition, I would be the iron, and whoever is playing as the car stole all my money when I went to the toilet.

THANKFULLY, this didn't live past a couple of (boring, lonely) months. I actually became SO NICE, that when I first met a guy, after assessing our present lives, future goals, ambitions, desires, strengths and weaknesses in the first conversation with him, if I didn't calculate more than a 90% long term relationship success rating, I just wouldn't see him again.
Now this may seem like a conceited act, but really, my view was that I didn't want them getting too attached or even really getting to the thought that maybe one day we would speak to each other on a day-to-day basis so as to save THEIR FEELINGS for when I possibly decided I was over it (ok, maybe a little conceited, but c'mon, I'm a catch hard to let back into the ocean). So I tackled this situation HEAD ON, by giving them the flick before they even drew close to the assumption that I am definitely a female, who does not wear Crocs.

But in hindsight, even if I let the ball roll for a bit longer, they would've lost interest anyway because BEING THAT CONSIDERATE JUST ISN'T HOT.
It's true. Who wants someone who doesn't sleep because they are too busy brain storming different possible routes from your house to work so as to reduce your correct travelling time of 11 minutes to 8 minutes thus allowing 3 extra minutes to enjoy the organic, soy, Arabica bean topped up Machiatto with 3 grams of raw sugar served in a gold rimmed glass, in the morning.
Where's the chase?
Where's the anticipation after sending them a text message, and spending the next 78 minutes that it takes them to reply cursing yourself because you totally could've asked how their night was in a far more quirky (yet still laid back) way?
It doesn't exist because you don't send them text messages, or need to ask how their night was, because they were outside your front door with a harp singing Elton John songs that he has altered to have your name in them.

Many people believe that if something is too good to be true - it probably isn't. So you may have the sex appeal of Scar Joh, the charm of Michael Buble, and the wit of Arj Barker, but if you're heart is as difficult to capture as a 14 year old who just watched The Notebook - you'll be as unlucky in love as Jennifer Aniston (Post-Brad.. Yeah.. Fuck that).

Now I'm not saying we should all start rocking up to dates 2 hours late and apologising by saying "haha.. soz", but there needs to be some SASS, some cheek, some quirk, some chance that you're not going to be available on any given day of the week.

So you could think that I am rude, up myself, cocky, just a general fucking bitch, but that's not true. I love people, I love girls and I love boys.
Whenever I am seeing someone I appreciate all the cute things they do for me, I inform them of all the things I like about them, I am always there for them, and I generally care. I just don't text back sometimes and require them to PLAN to see me - not call an hour before they want ME to drive to THEM.
It's not playing games, it's just having enough calcium in my spine to decline kowtowing to some crush who (adorably) walks into my life, and to prioritise the friends that were there for me pre-crush, and will still be there for me post-crush.